Keristmass

You have probably noticed that it is Christmas soon and I bet you are well excited. I am very excited because the other day I took a peek in the cupboard where my mother hides the presents, and my God has she spent a lot of money this year. Anyway underneath her huge pile of dildos was my present and it's a pin badge with a picture of a bear on it. It's pretty sweet.

Christmas is sort of weird now though. I find it honestly surprising and a bit odd when somebody connects it with Jesus now. Christmas isn't about Jesus, it's about presents and food. Pretending otherwise is just silly because nobody cares about Jesus anymore as we are all godless heathens who fuck virgins and smoke all the time.

The best Christmas song is called 'Merry Christmas Everyone' and it is by Shakin' Stevens. Good ol' Shakey takes his name from his ravenous lust for milkshakes, specifically those which bring all of the boys to the yard, where he beats and strangles them. Oh Shakey, you old dog.

In conclusion, Christmas is about having to spend a lot of time with your family while they talk about stuff that's really boring and then dad goes to sleep on the cat and we all have a good laugh. Merry christmas!