The Holy Trinity

Better than God. Three Gods.


Epic Bollywood Movies

Having seen 50 Cent's film today, I have come to the conclusion that pretty much anyone can make a film. In celebration of this fact, here are a choice selection of home made Holy Trinity gems. Unbelievably, they were actually made on a rather low budget, and some of the different scenes are actually identical apart from the subtitles. However you would be hard pushed to notice, unless you are some sort of film geek of course! Chuckle chuckle. No seriously though, no nerds allowed on this site.

The Holy Trinity

The Tragic Life And Death Of A Hero

Rugged Horse


Domestic Bliss

Chris... PAPER!!

Typical Egyptian Market Place

Card Sharks

The Funniest Man In The World


The Rebel Prince's Guide To Cool Lingo

That's right boys and girls, The Rebel Prince is finally here, and he's here to help. It's been a long wait, and it probably won't be worth it, but screw it. I don't care what you think. I'm edgy like that.
Now, the fact that you're at home on your Mac reading all this shit suggests to me that you have some sort of social disfunction. Well your problems are most likely to be deeply inset by now, but DON'T FRET. I can sort you out. Gradually.
First things first - you remember that posh guy who had to pretend to be a ragamuffin graffiti-artist in the only interesting episode of Faking It? Well the reason it was so stupid that the judges didn't work out that he was obviously just some guy from the Home Counties is that he still sounded like a posh nob, despite the evident quality of his graffiti work. So with that in mind, I'm gonna learn ya how to spit it like some Street Urchin King. Because to relate in any way to the cool kids (or 'wankers'), you have to be able to speak their language.
Here, therefore, are fifteen words and phrases to get you started. Master these basics and already you'll be part way up the ladder that leads to the height of cooldom...

Biff (n.) e.g "He was so mad, he got in a right biff!"
Ah, a nice simple one to get you going. Biff simply means to get in a mood or a strop about something.

Blazin' (ad.) e.g "Dude, I just found an unopened Starburst on the floor - I'm blazin'!"
A term to describe ones own emotions in relation to a natural high. Not to be confused with former teen/feral group Blazin Squad. They weren't happy. They were shit.

Bonus Spinal Leech (ad.) e.g "Ummm... you're a bonus spinal leech."
That example is a slight misleading in all honesty, for if you were to call a bonus spinal leech that then they would probably introduce you to Mr. Flick-Knife. Logic and rationale is not a pre-requisite for all, or indeed most, cool phrases and this is the perfect example. It relates to what is now known as a 'chav', but is of course much funnier.

Bubsy (n.) e.g "So Take That just broke up again? Get over it and stop having a bubsy."
A bubsy is succinctly to act like cry baby. Nothing funny to add here.

Chump (n.) e.g "Get a load of this chump, turning up with only five minutes of the lecture left!"
Chump is maybe my favourite word! It's such a good term of mild abuse. It has a real sense of resignation about it too, which is exactly how chumps make you feel. Use it. Lots.

Cramazy (ad.) e.g "Did you see that guy eat his own hand?? That was cramazy!"
Is it crazy? Is it amazing? Then it's cramazy. Another awesome word.

Fresh (ad.) e.g "Fresh. Fresh fresh fresh. Fresh."
A particular favourite of the reigning Street Urchin King, Darryl Kemp. You can call anything fresh. Use it and use it until it has lost all meaning, and you will be a man my son.

Gayer than a window (ad.) e.g "Have you seen Brokeback Mountain? It's gayer than a window."
Well windows are pretty gay aren't they?? Who cares, get it said.

Hillage (ad.) see Hoyler

Hoyler (n.) e.g "That kid with the abacus is such a hoyler." "Yeah, he's definitely exhibiting signs of hillage!"
The Hoyler/Hillage axis - truely a work of genius. Descriptive terms for losers, basically. I'm not really at liberty to go into the etymology of the respective terms, I'm not sure if anyone really knows any more, but rumour has it the terms derive from the original pioneers of losership.

Money (ad.) e.g "Did you see Peep Show last night - it was money!"
Everyone thinks money is good, even communists. That's why they try to hoard it all in the upper echelons and deny the common man. Stalin never went without, did he? Thus, money = good. Well good, even.

Nugg (n.) e.g "I just lost three nuggs on Itbox Monopoly. Stupid dog..."
A nugg is another word for one of your English pound sterling golden coins. A better word.

Off the heezy fo' sheezy (ad.) e.g "Deal Or No Deal was off the heezy fo' sheezy yesterday - Irene went away with £5!"
Deriving from the phrase 'off the hook', which means really good. I guess that's because everyone hates getting phone calls, and no-one can call you if the phone is off the hook. This is the latin version, which translates roughly as 'off the hook for shook'. I don't know why you have to shake the phone though... Maybe it's wet?

Swedish (ad.) e.g "I just smuggled a Kinder Egg in with my pick n' mix and got away with it!" "Swedish!"
Self-explanatory really. Sweden was recently voted Best Country Ever for the 76th year running by the Guild Of Irish Boybands. So who are you to argue? Thus, anything really good is swedish, because that's what things from Sweden are called.

Sweet Pup (n./ad.) e.g "You can distinguish all of the bad guys in 24 cos they've all got sweet pups!"
A sweet pup, in case you don't already know (shame on you!) is the name given to a particularly awesome goatee, or 'goat'. From this comes the adjective 'pup', which is a positively re-inforcing denoter.

Rank (ad.) e.g "Why did David Beckham have an affair with Rebecca Loos when she's so rank?"
Another Rebel Prince favourite. A bottom-of-the-barrel descriptive term for something that's particularly horrible or rancid.

So there you have it. Get to grip with these basics and soon you'll be able to brave the playground again without the fear of absolute humiliation. And if in any doubt, don't forget the Golden Rule of cool grammar - end every sentence you speak with either 'innit' or, even better, 'issit', EXCEPT any circumstance in which it may make grammatical sense.

I've been the Rebel Prince. You stay classy, listeners.



Hey dudes, I'm back at Bruni but you, as you know, are not. This is unprecedented, the holy trinity is broken; it's like I'm gold without my buddies, the nice smelling Frankincense and Myrrh. But to ease my pain I have written you limericks. I started them nice but I'm afraid they ended up dirty.

There was a young man called Matt Sharp,
Who wanted to learn to play Harp,
He tried and he failed, so he sighed and he bailed
And went back to screwing Koi Carp

(edit) I have cut Josh's because it is shit, however I have left matt's because otherwise there would be very little to this post. But to make up for it I have included a lovely fly game click START now


Excerpt from William Shakespeare's "To Deal Or Not To Deal"

NOEL: Irene, fair and sweet player of this most noble game, yonder friend Banker has granted you a truly magnanimous offer of four thousand coin for the box which is lain before you. By process of careful elimination, we have alighted at the deduction that thine own receptacle may contain the value of ten thousand coin, or otherwise the mere value of five coin. Having studied the avenues open to the player, have you reached a judicious resolution to your path in this contest? Irene, I stand before you to ask you, deal or no deal?

IRENE: No deal, Noel.

NOEL: O! What perturbation! Such vivacity! Such ebullience! The conclusion is now obscured, and the match hath become ever more stimulating! Irene, kindly breach the seal on thine casket and end the torment visited upon us!

The box is opened. Contained is five pounds.

NOEL: Irene!

IRENE: Today the game hath made a fool of me
O! Destroyed by naught but mine own vast greed
My sight t'were blinded by cruel temptation
I feel great sorrow and not elation
I do so hate mine vile and hungry eye
And so my last sad act must be to die

Irene expires.

NOEL: Friends! Go forth today a lesson learned.
Your fortune must be fairly earned.
Turn from your greed and stay your hand,
And you may win a hundred grand.
Then you'll have but yourself to thank,
When through all ill you beat the bank.

Exuent Noel