A Bit Much
Hello Trinifans (that's 'trinity' and 'fans' compounded to form a new word). Here are some of the notes that have been left around Trinity Towers (or 'Boss House') of late. Please enjoy.
Seriously guys, whoever is ignoring the fact that we have a blog needs to stop now and start pulling their weight or it's curtains for you. You'll burn in the eternal fires of hades and I will personally see to it that you never see daylight ever again you CUNTS.
Cheers, Matt
Hey guys, please stop putting your balls on my pillow because I struggle to sleep with my nostrils filled with the fetid stench of your sweaty sacks.
Thanks, Josh
Guys, I don't know what the stuff piled up behind the taps in the kitchen is, but it looks a heck of a lot like dried semen and HobNobs. I don't think I should have to clean it up, do you? Also the bin is so full it is about to tear itself open from inside, somebody should sort it out. Not me though.
Yours sincerely, Emma
Seriously guys, I thought it was pretty funny the first time I found a turd inside the GameCube, but it's starting to get a little old now and I don't think it works properly anymore. If you want to keep playing Resident Evil 4, I'd advise you to stop putting shit inside the GameCube. If you don't stop soon, I'll be forced to put my balls on your pillow again.
Cheers, Matt
Guys, whoever scrawled HITLER HITLER HITLER on my bedroom door needs to report the damages and pay for the repairs. I am tired of being reminded of the atrocities of the Nazi regime every time I go for a wank.
Thanks, Chris.
Hey guys, does anybody know what is in that binliner next to the freezer? It's too heavy for me to move by myself and it smells of rot.
Emma
Chris I will continue to scrawl HITLER on your door until you admit to your part in the extermination of my people.
Matt
Josh, move the body. Emma is onto us.
Chris.
Um, guys, I went to use my colander the other day and it looked a lot a like somebody had been forcing handfuls of shit through it. If you do this again, please make sure that you wash it afterwards.
Thanks, Emma
Guys, if the police find any more crack in my bedroom they are going to fuck me right up. Please stop planting it, it's not funny now.
Josh
CUNT CUNT CUNT
Matt
Guys, I woke up this morning and my asshole was distinctly sore. I thought we already discussed this. PLEASE STOP
Chris
Josh, nobody believes your ridiculous 'crack planting' line, just admit you have a problem. It'd be okay if you didn't have your junkie friends round here all the time. I found Barry slamming his fists into my butter and screaming about metal horses yesterday, and it needs to stop.
Matt
Look guys, there's a point where you can go too far and that was long ago now. My room is my private area, and I DO NOT appreciate you going in when I am out and bleeding on my desk. Also I found all my frozen food floating in the toilet yesterday covered in urine soaked newspaper. I am going to the hospital to have my stab wounds tended to, and then I am moving out.
Emma
Guys, it worked.
Chris