Radio Show: Part III

Here's the post post post about the show show show. E-mail us at this beautiful address if you want us to verbally fellate you live on air and also we will mock your hilarious surname. So look forward to that! Alright let's get on with this shit I don't have all day to waste on you. Mondays 7pm-9pm remember! And you'd better.

INTERNET WATCH

• 5 Second Films
  Here is a link to a YouTube profile that is literally packed to its very seams with 5 second versions of films. Brilliant, if you like that sort of thing. And I am sure you do. As this man points out, not all of them are actually 5 seconds, but what sort of ridiculous internet pedant would care? Go update your Wikipedia entry you fat sack of shit.


• Matt Sharp presents: Dr. Schmerzen Babble
  No no no, it's a different Matt Sharp! How many of us could there possibly be? At least three, apparently. This is one of them and he is either the greatest comedy character actor who ever lived, or a deeply foolish and deluded individual. You decide! Actually no I'll decide for you, he is bloody terrible. If you can survive this whole video I will personally kiss you lovingly on the forehead.

PLAYLIST
Get your fat eyes round this lovely lot you bitch.

• Dead! - My Chemical Romance


• Did You Get My Message? - Jason Mraz


• Australia - The Shins


• Is She Really Going Out With Him? - Joe Jackson


• Bring It (Snakes on a Plane) - Cobra Starship


• Missed The Boat - Modest Mouse


• The Longest Time - Billy Joel


• Come Back to Camden - Morrissey


• The Seed 2.0 - The Roots


• Salt Sweat Sugar/Bleed American - Jimmy Eat World


• On And On - Tom McRae


• Your Love Alone Is Not Enough - Manic Street Preachers


• I Only Want To Be With You - Dusty Springfield


• Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley


• Cupid's Chokehold - Gym Class Heroes


• Hit Parade - Unkle Bob


• The Magic Position - Patrick Wolf


• Wasteland - Maximo Park


• Babooshka - Kate Bush


• Double Standards - Frazer

CLIPS
Note to Matt: Put some clips up Yeah alright I'll do it later jesus christ.

WOOF BOX
I'm not doing the woof box anymore I can't be bothered with it and nobody gives a shit anyway. Next week is film soundtracks week (probably) so get some flippin' e-mails in about those if you like. Or not, whatever. Like I said, I can't be bothered. Maybe Derren Brown could hynotise me into enjoying writing waffle like I used to, like what he did to that piano lady the other night. Derren if you are reading this you better not let me down, okay? I need you man. Also please hypnotise Chris into using less fucking horrible smelly sauce. Alright fuck this I've got a headache. Oh also next week we are going to try and find Josh a girlfriend live on air so that he can get laid and stop being a big old grump! If you've got low self-esteem and issues with your daddy why not e-mail us?

Actually I might keep at the Woof Box if I can use it to snipe at my co-hosts.

Radio Show Number Two

Don't forget to e-mail us at holytrinityradio@gmail.com you fools.

PLAYLIST
Yo yo here's da beatz. When it says our names that means it was our 'unvetable' track, yo.

• Oh You Pretty Things - David Bowie


• Fake Palindromes - Andrew Bird


• Golden Mike - Frazer


• If You Could Read My Mind - Gordon Lightfoot


• Map Of Your Head - Muse


• This Charming Man - The Smiths


• Capital G - Nine Inch Nails


• Everywhere - Michelle Branch *Matt*


• New Friend Request - Gym Class Heroes


• I'm Shipping Up To Boston - Dropkick Murphys


• Burn - Ray Lamontagne *Josh*


• Oh! Darling - The Beatles


• Rhythms - Sum 41


• Escape from the City - Crush 40


• My Baby Just Cares For You - Nina Simone


• Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne


• Elusive - Scott Matthews


• Henrietta - The Fratellis


• Postcards from Italy - Beirut *Chris*


• Babies - Pulp


• A & B Song - Tom McRae

CLIPS
No clips this week because it kept cutting out, as you will probably know if you tried to listen. Sorry brah.

THE WOOF BOX
We cocked right up at the start by building up David Bowie big time and then playing last week's tracklist, which starts with the Pixies. Durrr. We also introduced Gordon Lightfoot as Muse, which was no doubt very confusing for everybody. However we did have a sound effect of a person falling into a hole, so all was not lost. Also we got some jingles working! Hurrah!
We didn't have any internet stuff this week, and as I said the clips didn't work, so there's not much to this update I'm afraid. Oh well, you'll live.

Radio Show Number One

Hey gang! We three fools have been given a radio show on Brunel University's awesome student radio station B1000. How lucky and cool and crazy are we! Very! We are going to use this neglected blog to post things related to the show, which is on Mondays at 7.00pm until 9.00pm. You'll get the links to the websites we have talked about, playlists, and lovely little clips of some of the rubbish we have spouted. Also whoever writes the post will probably muse briefly on the nature of the show and also life. Fantastic! Here is all the shit from our first ever show:

INTERNET WATCH

• One-man Movie Re-enactments
  Here is the YouTube profile of Mr. Brandon Hardesty, who recreates scenes from movie all by himself by doing impressions and wearing different clothes and then editing it all together. It is very good and very funny. He is also a piano whizz and can make funny faces! Hoorah!


• Crazy Internet Kid of the Week
  Here's a MySpace lunatic. He had a list of 100 things about himself which got read out on the show, but I don't know if that is on his MySpace. Anyway he is very funny although not for the right reasons.

PLAYLIST
Before you read the playlist I will explain the concept of the 'unvetable' tracks. Each one of us may select one song each week that cannot be vetoed by the other presenters. I have labelled them on the playlist with our names so you can pick them out. Here you go:

• Debaser - Pixies


• I Want You Back - Jackson 5


• Panic - The Smiths


• The Avenue - Roll Deep
  
• Hungry Heart - Bruce Springsteen


• Boiled Frogs - Alexisonfire *Josh*


• One Week - Barenaked Ladies


• River Man - Nick Drake


• Cars - Gary Numan


• Bring Tha Noise - Public Enemy *Chris*


• Mama - My Chemical Romance


• Rock the Casbah - The Clash


• On The Radio - Regina Spektor


• Hysteria - Muse


• 60 Revolutions - Gogol Bordello


• Breathe Me - Sia *Matt*


• Express Me - NWA


• Heartbeats - The Knife


• Stop, Look, Listen (To Your Heart) - Marvin Gaye


• Mr. Blue Sky - ELO


• Don't Stop Believin' - Journey

CLIPS
We've only got the first hour of the show recorded, so some of the items we did are lost to the mists of time forever. Which is a shame, because we hit our stride after a bit and some of the best things happened in the second hour. Like Internet Watch, Game Set Matt, Oh My Days and Thing You Remember From The Nineties. But you'll have to live without those and make do with these snippets of awkward muttering:

• 300 Movie Review


• Raisin Talk

THE WOOF BOX
Well well well! This was our first ever show and we didn't really know what we were doing. We also had some jingles and sound effects and other gubbins stored on a memory stick, but it didn't fit in the frankly poorly designed USB port in the studio. We learned our lesson though so next time you can expect some annoying sound effects and horrid jingles. Which, aside from professionalism, is what the show is really missing. Really though I think it went pretty well all things considered and it was definitely a lot of fun. And it'll only get better! Promise.

The Holy Trinity Christmas Anniversary Special

Tomorrow is the first birthday of the Holy Trinity blog. Also it is nearly Christmas! So here is our special Christmas video:



It's on fucking YouTube and everything! We are living pretty much exactly on the cutting edge. Thanks very much to Kaile for holding the camera and the microphone and for saying a variety of things for us. Kaile you are a modern superstar of some description. Josh has promised to carry out certain 'acts' as your reward. Well not yet, but he will.

If you have watched the video by now, you will know that it contains an exciting opening montage, dialogue that snaps, crackles and pops, a beautifully performed song, yelling, candid interviews and a depressing descent into mindless self-destruction. If you haven't watched it yet, you will now know that it has a load of fucking awesome stuff in it, because I just listed it for you in an attempt to get you to watch it.

This is easily far and away the third most efficient production I have ever been involved with. Thanks everybody!

A Week In The Life – Josh's Diary Or Whatever

Monday 23rd October

We skipped the screening for our Sci-Fi module today because it was Doctor Who. In Matt's case it was because he'd seen it before loads of times, and in my case it was because Doctor Who is a stupid piece of shit. It's just some wanker going around in a box shouting at things. And what the hell is the point of the Daleks? They're about as scary as a biscuit tin and just as exciting. No wait, they are less exciting because I quite like biscuits. Pity I never get to eat any because I know that Chris and Matt will just eat them all up like they did all the time last year. What fucking cheek. We went to the seminar in the afternoon though. I think that Matt is in love with the lecturer, Steven Duckworth. He probably doesn't even like Doctor Who or Vans shoes or Kim Deal or Lipton Ice Tea. What a little creep. We went home and ate delicious microwaved chicken burgers. I think Chris was a little bit upset because he was in one of his stupid fanny 'meat is murder' moods but he can just fuck off. Later I played Resident Evil 4. I like to imagine that the baddies are Chris and Matt as I shoot their faces off. "FUCKING DIE" I scream, imagining the broken contorted faces of my housemates ripped apart by buckshot.

Tuesday 24th October

Chris left his light on again today when he went out. I was so angry I bit through a piece of wood. Then I started a little fire in my room and cried into it. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone ever. I wish Matt would update the Holy Trinity more often. He keeps writing new things for the fucking Mattrix instead. Nobody reads the Mattrix, it's the biggest piece of shit on the internet and it's not funny and nor is he. I guess when we are writing our sitcom I will have to do all the jokes. I don't know what Matt is going to do, I just felt sorry for him really. He's not even as good looking as me for God's sake. But then who is? Nobody. He dragged me and Chris along to the fucking Sci-Fi Society meeting again, even though I didn't want to go as usual. I hate leaving the house, it sucks ass. Anyway we saw Predator 2, which I thought was really good. Matt and Chris seemed to hate it though, so I just went along with them for once. It tore me up inside and when I got home I punched a hole in my desk.

Wednesday 25th October

I played Resident Evil 4 again today. One of the baddies fell on the floor and I imagined it was Matt as I strolled over and slashed his neck with a knife. The blood sprayed across the rough ground and satisfaction throbbed through my veins. He screamed and clutched futilely at the air, choking out his last breath. I fired a bullet into his skull to be sure, and his head was torn apart instantly. The crimson spray made me feel like a god. I screamed "DIE DIE DIE" at the top of my lungs and clapped loudly and gleefully. It was the best moment of my life. For dinner I had chicken nuggets and potato wedges and a huge pile of grated cheese for some reason. I was dragged away from my cheese and videogame murder to go to Cherry Pop at the club. They didn't play enough George Michael for my tastes, so when I got home I was so cross I broke a metal bar across my forehead.

Thursday 26th October

Fucking hell. Chris left his light on again today, and after I vented my rage by tearing a sheet of wallpaper down and chewing it, I went in to turn it off. Jesus. That room smells like a tractor that has just driven over the rotting corpse of a bull. Also there is something smeared on the walls but I would rather die than find out what it is. It is the worst thing in the world. I went to the shop to buy some more cheese because I had a whole block of it with my dinner last night, and the man with the hat was very distant even when I tried to make conversation. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to anybody ever. In the evening we watched Dead Man's Shoes, which is the greatest film ever made. I imagined that I was Paddy Considine and that I was stalking and killing Matt and Chris. I sure would love to stuff Chris inside a suitcase and show him to Matt and then stab Matt. I hated it when Paddy Considine died at the end. If I were him I wouldn't have died, I would have kept going and killed and killed and killed. Chris called me gay so I went up to my room and tore up all my books.

Friday 27th October

Ugh. We went to our Creative Writing lecture today and it was horrible. We had to read out our ideas for our final projects, and Matt was cracking out the fucking funnies as usual. Everybody laughed except me, because he was just being a cunt. I was so angry I almost snapped my biro in half and yelled "FUCK" but I held it in. Then I read my amazing idea out and everybody instantly realised that it was the best idea ever. The woman asked who thought it was 'compelling' and everybody put their hands up except for Matt because he wasn't listening. He was probably thinking up some faggot joke like the big shit he is. I was this close to punching him in the back of the head. Luckily we have Pro Evo 6 now, so I am holding in the rage. I like to slide tackle people and imagine they are Chris or Matt as they crumple to the floor with broken ankles and cry out in anguish. Getting a red card is small price to pay if it means I get to see them lying on the grass, faces twisted in agony. Then the computer player beat me, so I threw a brick at a bird outside. It smashed it right up but it wasn't dead so I stood on its head.